Going home!

I am leaving Singapore. I am going back home to Malaysia! Yeah! I am actuallu quite happy to go back, to see mum. Miss her very much.

I am going to Australia on Jan, by the new SQ A380 on Business Class! Will take some pictures and post up if I won't look to sua-ku to do that! Muahahahaha

Ah! Raining!

It is still raining cats and dogs here in Singapore. And it's weekend.

I finally got to meet Viv's Naomi, she is so adorable and aunty viv is still pretty as usual! Took some picture with her but I have absolutely no mood to load it into the computer yet... The weather make me feel so lazy.

Anyway, I am going home to Malaysia soon I think. There's nothing much to do in Malaysia. I should plan a vacation further..... Hong Kong sounds good?

Sigh....

Do you like Singapore? I've been staying here for 2 weeks and no, I don't really like it. I prefer Malaysia much much more. However, I'd love to live in Australia as I think the country is safer compare to Malaysia. Not that Australia is crime free, well, I just feel it that way.

Mum says I will be sent to Australia for study. She asked me when would I like to start, college, University? I requested for some time off to really consider about it. Hey this is going to affect my whole life, I really should think about it.

I'd think the best for me is to study in college malaysia for 1 year, then study abroad in anywhere else. I've thought about Paris, you know, for no reason, I just think that place gives me a very serene feel (or romantic).... I am sure mum won't allow it, she can't speak frech, neither do I, but I can learn......

So, guess, that should be it, here for a year... then go somewhere else for the rest. Ok, "Mum....."

Rain, rain, go away.....

Singapore has been raining 2 days in a row.... Boring... :(

Exam is over!!!!!

SPM is soooooooooo over!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The morning i finished exam, I came to Singapore for great food and shopping. I will be meeting the little Naomi this weekend! So happy. It's great to meet friends especially when you are not in your own "kampung"!

Anyway, I, will not want to go back to school until next year.

A trip to Singapore is great. Mum finally agree that I am at least not a little girl anymore. Mum has a apartment in Singapore, so accomodation isn't a problem. Too bad I can't own a driving liecense yet, or else I can drive mum's car around. Wait, next year.... hek hek hek.... :D

Daddy....

I have been missing daddy for more than a week. He must be busy....

Present present present!

I got Aunty Viv a present, actually, that's for Naomi. It's a diaper bag! I know she is a bag and shoe addict! :P I think she used to have like 50 pairs of shoes when she was staying in Penang. I should meet her someday. I so want to meet her little Naomi.

And here's my Juicy laptop sleeve. It's really nice to use. I can put my laptop in it and slip it in my backpack to protect my laptop being scratched.

Mummy is back!

Mummy is back, with her new limited collection of Louis Vuitton. Mum said her good friend bought this for her all in Los Angeles which is only available there. Nah, I am not so much into Louis Vuitton anyway.

However, I asked mum to let me take a picture of the bag. It's a neverfull MM, quite cute but if me, a teenage taking this bag, everyone sure thinks it's a counterfeit item!

SPM ah SPM!

The big exam is finally here.... Great! Finally! After this exam will be another different life ahead, so great!

When mummy not around....

When mummy not around, I can eat anything I want! I can sleep anytime I like and I can go movie with friends too!

Normally mum won't let me go out too much with friends as she doesn't want me to mix around too much with guys. I do not think I am that desperate for a boyfriend! Mummy just not even try to understand. Uncle Tony was nice enough to send me to meet with friends and wait for me to pick me up. And the most important thing is, he won't tell on me! Hahahahaha, he is one of my best friends! He works for mummy for almost 10 years. He is like my real uncle!

I had ice-cream and choc for dinner, which I know it is totally unhealthy, but I don't have chance to do this! And the maid promised she won't tell mummy too! I bribes her with a almost new handbag! Hahaha!

Seems like I am not as good as I thought, heh?

blog blog blog

A blog without pictures is certainly not attractive.

I better go and hunt for some pictures!

Mummy not around!

Yeah!!!!!! Mum is not home, for 10 days!!!!! She wanted to take me along to California but too bad my year end exam is coming, so i don't get to go. On the other hand, it is quite a good news for me! :P I get to be home, all by myself! Not quite by myself alone, with maids and uncle Tommy, mum's body guard cum driver. Anyway, I at least has some freedom to be without mum for few days!

Don't get me wrong here, I don't hate my mum, but I just need some privacy! :)

I will get it back!

Mum is not giving back my laptop. But she will have to when she goes to US next week! We need to skype, hahahahahaha!

No laptop!

Laptop was confiscated by mum asking me to study real hard for my Exam. What? Laptop helps too! She thinks I am always chatting with boys, I do, a bit, but not always!

Now I have to sneak into her room to use hers when she's at bath! Argh!

Diet PlanS!

I do not think I have been eating right. The books, the magazines, the internet, they all give different diets. Too much information, that's why I don't know how to eat properly.

Sometimes I tried Atkin, ok, protein for few days, yeah, I saw results but doesn't last. Then I tried to be vegetarian for few weeks, it made me fall sick (maybe not enough energy?). Then I tried detox, drank fluid only for few days, I wanted to die.

I don't what to go for. So from now on, I will eat everything I want to eat, in a moderate portion, including junk foods! :P

Who??

I've got a secret admire!!!!!!

I found a letter on my desk today, annonymous letter saying he would like to be my friend and eventually boyfriend, and ask me to call his number. Did I call? of course not! He didn't even leave his name which to me is not sincere enough.

2nd, I also think that he is such a coward not to leave his name. If someone who really wants to be friend with a girl, I think he should at least be brave enough to introduce himself. He was afraid of being rejected!

3rd, it could be a prank joke. So I should just ignore it. :P

Shopping, again.

Mum is getting more calm. However, shopping is her therapy. So we went shopping today.

Mum enjoyed shopping. She bought 2 LV bags and I got a Juicy Couture laptop sleeve from Pavilion. It is a new outlet and the only one in Malaysia at the mean time. Since it is under Lane Crawford HK, they do not offer any membership just yet. And their collections are pretty limited too. I was looking for juicy baby for my friend's daughter but too bad they do not have anything nice. The laptop sleeve is RM560. It is quite pricy but very young looking!

Do check out Juicy Couture's collections! :)

Normal?

Mum is not crying anymore, but still eat very little. I really miss him, I can't imagine how much mum is missing grandpa... Mum lived so well with grandpa's mental support, and now he is gone, forever. For a moment I was so worried that mum would collapsed. Thanks dad for being here all the time. Probably, grandpa would "pull" them back together?

School break is still on, but I really has no mood to do anything else. I cleaned up the room and realised grandpa had been in my life, I mean really living with us since I was so little. Most of my memories, there were grandpa.

Life has gone back to normal but it will never be the same without grandpa.

Grandpa, good bye.

My grandpa is gone on 13th Oct 2007, so sudden. The funeral is Christian way, at our home here in Malaysia. Mum said grandpa's ash will be sent back to Indonesia to be with grandma.

Mum still not eating well, not sleeping much till today. She was always in the room crying, and dad, finally came home every night. He was with mum the whole time... I sincerely thanks dad for doing so. Dad is a very loving person. Mum's life will be tougher after grandpa is gone. I will have to "look after" her, I am the closest and the one and only to her. I have to think more mature and stop being like a baby.

I miss grandpa very much.

Only Child

It's been sometimes I didn't go out with my friends for movie and so. I have socialising problem. I don't have many friends. Is it because I am the only child at home?

People around me said that only child always have friends problem. But I don't see that happened to my other friends. I think it is just me. I have very low self esteem. And why would I not be one? I am not pretty, I am not smart, I am not out standing, and I don't even have an ambition. Yeah, if you asked me what would I be in the future, I do not have any idea. I just know my path is to take over my mum's business. And that's not my heart's desire either.

I do wish to have 1 sibling, to share a life with; on the other hand, I do not wish for any sibling because I do not want him/her to go through what I am going through now, the family, the gossips and peer pressure.

Anyway, there's always pros and cons. If I was to be a mother, I will want to have 2 kids. 2 lovely girls will be fantastic!

Shopping! Shopping! Shopping!

Nothing beats a great bargain shopping trip! I went out shopping today and gosh, I really got myself a lot of good bargain in Jusco 1 Utama.

I've got a pair of jeans at 50%off, a few tops at value buy price and the totalk I spent today wasn't even exceed RM300! How great????

Of course I didn't go for something with a designer brands or more well known brand. They are Jusco house brand and since they look good on me, why not? :)

Me

Enough of grandpa. Enough of my family.

Now it is about me. I will be sent to Australia next year to further my study. Is it really what I want? Everything about me is being arranged. I just need to walk the path that everyone around me says. My parents thinks those are the best ever things for me to learn, to study, to do. I feel like a robot.

I wish to be dad and mum's good girl and I do, I am. Do they ever appreciate what I have done? Do they ever notice about my feeling?

I am not happy, I don't have a happy family, and most of all, I don't have a life of my own.

Grandpa is awake!

Doctor said grandpa is lucky to be awake again. He could just be gone forever if he wasn't found lying on the floor. So, thank God he fainted in the kitchen. If it was in his room, he might not be here anymore.

How scary, life and death is just in second. Glad that grandpa is alright now.

Grandpa again.

It's spooky. I just blog about grandpa last night and today, Grandpa got into hospital due to heart attack. He is still in ICU now. Oh God, I don't hate him, but I just don't like the way he critisised my dad, I actually love him very much.

God, please do not take my granpa away so soon. He is my mum strong supporter. My mum didn't collapse till now is all because she wants to show grandpa that she's a strong woman. Please....

Grandpa

Grandpa lives with us for many many years. He is my mum's dad. Grandma left us long ago and since my mum is his only child, my mum took up the resposible to take care of him since then. Well, that time, dad and mum both worked for him, so, there was nothing much to complain about.

Mum always say that dad and her at this situation today, mostly caused by grandpa because he always looked down on dad. He only sees dad as a man who came after my mum's money. However, I think any man will make grandpa thinks that way. He is just being protective. I do not want to comment on who's right or wrong, but I think they all need to be resposible for everything happened today.

Even myself, I have to responsible for my own life. Exam passed, it was ok. I'm never an excellent student that all the teachers will remember me. And no one really care if I got straight A's at home. So, I have no motivation in life. I don't know what am I going to do in the future.

Grandpa said I will inherit everything he owned that is now on mum's hand. Do i really want that?

Shopping!

We went out shopping yesterday. Mum bought lots and lots of things. To name a few, a set of SKII skincare, a set of Lancome skincare, Estee Lauder blockbuster set which I don't think the colour is nice; a few dress from DKNY, BCBG, Versace and mum was so crazy to buy a pair of Jimmy Choo. That pair of shoes cost RM3700!

I asked mum to keep her clothes and shoes nicely so she can pass on to me. Mum said she will buy new clothes for me. However, I told mum not to waste too much money on all these designer goods. I do not appreciate them that much anyway.

To me, I will need a few clothes that I need daily and probably a few dinner dresses to spare; some bags to go with the clothes and a few pairs of good shoes. Will do. And with that, the wardrobe is already full! Haha!

Exam soon!

The pass week was very busy. Exam is just round the corner. Mum was so nervous as she is the one sitting for exam. She's the one busy with all the soup and nutritious food. And I have to eat all of them! I am gonna be so fat after the exam.

Mum's love is so undeniable. If really mum and dad seperated, I will definitely go with mum. Furthermore, I do not think I can live with that young woman either. Mum, I love you.

Perfect man

My parents marriage is not a happy-ever-after-fairy-tale-like marriage. But I never lose hope. I still think beautiful marriages exist. It is to find your love. Someone always tell me this, there's no perfect match in the world, but perfect compromise. With lots of love, there'll be lots of compromise with no tears and argument.

I've never had a steady boyfriend before, I do not really understand what's relationship's love should be. Next time, if I really want to look for a boyfriend, I will have to open my eyes big big to make sure I don't go for the wrong guy.

Grandpa always says that mum chose the wrong guy but i think mum and dad should have had some good time together before. I am sure mum married dad because they truly loved each other before. Though I am not sure about it now.

Coming from a rich family, mum said it will be more difficult for me to get the right guy as they might come after my money. However, I still believe there'll be true love out there for me. I will pray hard, pray very hard for my perfect man in my life!

Hate and Love

Mum and dad might get divorce, my grandpa said. That something I do not wish to see. Was it really mum who pushed dad away? Or it was dad's excuse to have another woman out there who is too young to be my stepmother? I am 16, and I heard she's only 26. I can't even call her aunty. She is just too young.

I can never understand adult world, and I don't think they understand either. They are not considerate, not responsible, and they don't know love. Well, at least not my parents. They commited a marriage and promised to take care and to love each other till death to them part. But they didn't. They ran away from each other after the sparks of love subside. And ME, a "product" of their love, is no longer inprotant either because they don't love each other anymore. I, am extra.

They don't know love, they never know how to love each other, they don't even know how to love me. I've got everything a girl wants, but I don't get a family. I don't feel their love.

They are irresponsible, they just walked away without considering about my feeling.

I love them and hate them at the same time. They are just too cruel.

Rejected!

Dad came home last night for dinner. It was a very quiet dinner, so quiet that I want to cry. It didn't feel like a family dinner at all. It was 3 complete strangers having food on the same table. No one said anything. It was so cold.

At the end of the dinner, I couldn't stand it, so I opened my mouth first and asked if dad and mum want to have dessert, I wasn't sure if there's any but I just wanted to break the silence. Both of them were "polite" enough to say yes. So I went to kitchen and get some cakes which was leftover from mum's high tea with friends at home yesterday. Who cares?!

I got out from the kitchen and the atmosphere was even colder than before. Damn, they must had some argument while I was away. Dad stood up and kissed me on my forehead, said goodbye and left again. I was so upset!!!! I miss dad for a week!

Dad loves me, there is no doubt about it. He would not argue with mum in front of me, he cares for my feeling a lot. Mum is different, mum loves me in a very expressive way. She will make a big hoo haa on how much she loves me. They are very different person and God knows why they were together initially. Ah... like what my grandpa always say, because mum is rich. I do not agree on that!

After dad left, mum started to cry and went back to her room. I was left all alone in the icy cold dining room with the pityful left over cake that was being rejected again today. Sigh, cake, we are just the same. Rejected.

I've got presents!

Mum bought me a few things today. It should be a happy thing to share about but it is totally opposite.

Dad has not been home for a week. Mum is truly very upset about it, that's why she went out shopping, to spent a lot of dad's money, I think that's not helping at all. And she bought me a few very expensive stuff that I don't even need. I have 3 designer purses, LV, Coach and Gucci; 2 LV and 1 Gucci handbags. I don't need them.

In fact, I do not wish to receive any thing from my mum anymore. I wish she could be happy and not buying me stuff because she's upset. I sincerely wish that.

Blogging finally!

Finally I have got myself signing up as a blogger. Thanks to aunty viv. Ooops, I think I shouldn't be calling you aunty in the public, hor? :P

I will try to make sure I post something up frequently. :)